Tuesday, March 11, 2014

9 Things Great Leaders Do in Difficult Times

9 Things Great Leaders Do in Difficult Times


by Bill Murphy Jr.

Do you know what to do as a leader when you're suddenly under fire? Here's a guide from someone who led in a real firefight.

Great leadership seems easy when things are good and everybody's happy. When times grow tough, however, a leader's true colors are revealed.
Ten years ago, a group of U.S. soldiers tasted combat for the first time in Sadr City, Iraq. I got to know one of the junior U.S. leaders in that battle when I wrote a book about West Point and wartime. (You can read more details on my personal blog, but the short version is that it was a fierce fight, and the start of months of tough, daily fighting.)
Dave Swanson was a 26-year-old lieutenant then. He's out of the military now, and we talked recently about what he learned by leading 40 soldiers in 82 straight days of combat. Most of us probably won't be taking a platoon into a hail of gunfire anytime soon, but applying these principles can greatly improve your effectiveness as a leader, no matter what challenges you face.

1. Control your fear.

As bullets whizzed by him for the first time, Swanson says he was very much afraid. However, he realized he had to subdue his fear because his soldiers were looking to him for clues as to how they should react.
Courage doesn't mean the absence of fear, and of course being a leader certainly doesn't mean charging ahead blindly in the face of adversity. It does mean you can't allow your fear to become contagious. Your team needs to believe you're in control of yourself, if they're to have confidence that you can make smart decisions in tough times.

2. Remember that the mission comes first.

You owe a lot to your team for giving you the privilege of placing their trust in you. First on the list, you owe them a goal worth dedicating their efforts to, and you need to demonstrate that you're willing to do whatever it takes to achieve it.
"I say complete the mission at minimal expense to the people," Swanson says. "Every military leader will publicly say that the mission comes first, but we always accomplished the mission with the soldiers in mind."

3. Remember that the mission comes before you, too.

The only way that "mission-first" mantra can work is if your people truly believe that you will put the mission before yourself, too. In a life-imitates-art moment, Swanson says that in the heat of combat, he thought of a line from the 2001 HBO miniseries, Band of Brothers: "The only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to function as a soldier."
In combat, this means being willing to risk your own safety for others in the unit and the mission. In other contexts, it means demonstrating that you'll sacrifice your personal short-term interests for the team's goal. Otherwise, how can you ask them to do so?

4. Rely on your preparation.

Swanson spent years preparing for battle. He had been an enlisted solider, he spent four years at West Point, and he trained for nearly two years after graduation. While training alone will never quite prepare you to lead in real life, he says, it's as close as you can get to the real thing.
The same principle applies in any leadership context. Think ahead of time about how you'll react to tough situations, so you can free your mind in crucial moments to react and adapt quickly.

5. Be tough, but human.

"To those who have been in combat," Swanson explains, "you live by hardness, intuition, and compassion."
As an example, he stayed awake and on duty for 60 straight hours at the start of the battle, pushing himself until he physically collapsed, but he also found moments of humanity and even humor in the heat of combat. Your team needs to know that you're tough, but also that you're reacting to the world around you like an engaged leader, not a machine.

6. Encourage your people.

Business is rarely a matter of life and death, but war certainly is. One of Swanson's soldiers, Specialist Jacob Martir, was killed in action during the months of fighting, and several others were wounded and sent home to hospitals in the U.S.
"It absolutely ate me alive to lose anyone in the platoon," Swanson says. However, he realized that it fell to him to encourage his soldiers and inspire them to keep going. "They were all special. The next day after any [casualty], I would remind them that each of them had already sacrificed themselves for each other on a daily basis--and how, if required, I would sacrifice myself for any of them."

7. Communicate effectively.

In the heat of battle, it's easy--almost natural--to shut down everything else and focus exclusively on the job at hand. That's a dangerous inclination, however. It's important to make communicating what's going on a priority as well. Your team and all of your stakeholders need to know what's going on, or they can't contribute.
"Early on in combat, radio communications weren't always the greatest, but that was no excuse," Swanson says. "When technology fails--and it always does at the worst possible moment--you need to have backup ways of getting and giving information."

8. Use your resources wisely. But use them.

Especially in the first days of combat, Swanson's unit dealt with destroyed and unarmored vehicles, and insufficient supplies of almost every sort. More important, confusion, combat, and casualties left them critically short of soldiers.
At the same time, they made full use of everything they had. At the end of the first week of fighting, for example, Swanson reflected that he had personally gone through ten 30-round magazines, meaning he had fired 300 bullets at the enemy. Just about everyone else in his platoon had, as well.

9. Imitate the leaders who inspire you.

When Swanson had to act in the heat of battle, especially when his soldiers' eyes were on him, he thought back to the lessons he had learned at West Point, and some of the other leaders he had known and respected. He also found himself asking a question that has circulated for years among military leaders as a sort of joke: "What would John Wayne do?"
"Regardless of where you work, always continue to learn what makes leaders successful and what makes them fail," he says.

4 Personal Habits That Will Improve Your Business

4 Personal Habits That Will Improve Your Business 

How deep breaths, hot yoga, and no gluten can make you a more effective leader.
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This year, I decided that I'm going to share my lessons. Lessons are some of the only things that we can both learn and teach. As I expand my new social enterprise, I feel it is important to share as I go. So, here are my January lessons:

The "Compliment Sandwich" works.

I know that sometimes I can be a little too to the point at work and forget to "lead with love." Basically, if you lead with something nice and end with something nice, then in the middle, you can say the criticism or basically anything you want.
For example: "I really loved the way you designed that flyer. You really thought through what the value proposition was and executed it well. One quick thing is that I'd love for you to think critically about how you reach out to people on our company's behalf. Your tone needs to match the company's tone, and if it doesn't, then people will get confused. I'd love for you to send me all emails before they get sent out to anyone until we get the tone right. You're doing awesome at managing my schedule, so keep up the good work!"
I still sometimes forget to do the Compliment Sandwich, especially when I am in a rush, but it does wonders for long-term relationships. Your people need to know the things they are doing right, too.

Three deep breaths go a long way.

Bad things happen. All the time. Especially when you are running a startup. Or when you have partners who may have different opinions than you and you think their viewpoint is just plain wrong. Or they think yours is just plain wrong. I really learned that getting upset never, ever helps. Ever. Even if I still get upset (the stakes are high, man!), I know it doesn't help. Ever.
So, if you set your alarm on your phone to take three long, deep inhales and three long, deep exhales every hour, your sanity will be so much happier. (Unless your boyfriend farts in the room, which happened to me just now. Then you have to go in another room and take three long, deep breaths there.)
That's also when you can press the Pause button for about 45 seconds and remember that we all will die one day and that we may as well exist as peacefully and happily as possible. Until the next fire drill comes. And then you take three more deep breaths. It’s an ongoing practice, and it really helps!

Hot yoga two times a week is all you need to stay in shape.

I started doing hot yoga, and I've never been in better shape in my life. And I've never sweated more in my life. Just try it: a 1.5-hour class twice a week. All of the gross things you take all week will sweat out of your pores. I didn't realize how much my body excretes until I started taking these classes. It's only $8 for a 1.5-hour class at Yoga to the People. My skin is glowing.

Challenge yourself to no sugar, no gluten, and no dairy for a month.

I challenged my friend Max for us to go on a no-sugar, no-gluten, and no-dairy diet for 30 days. This was to help his skin sensitivity and to help my joint pain. I've had three knee surgeries from soccer and two bicycle accidents, and so joint pain has been fairly common for me.
I know that gluten is a natural inflammatory, and that sugar, gluten, and dairy all exacerbate skin conditions, but I never knew for sure if forgoing any of them really helped joint pain. Until I met with Seth Godin a couple of times at my restaurant, and he told me how he went gluten-free and dairy-free, and all of his joint pain went away. Seth wanted to meet me at Wild, because he knew he could eat gluten-free, dairy-free pizza there. Knowing that we could eat pizza at Wild at the very least, Max accepted my challenge.
I will also say that I love chocolate and dessert--I have it every day. To do the no-sugar thing was going to be the hardest part for me. But if Natalie Portman can do it, so could I.
So we did it. We ate a lot of Indian food, sushi, Mexican food, and salad, and a lot of Wild's food. We held each other accountable. (Having an "accountabilibuddy" helps so much!) It became easier and easier. And my joint pain went away! And Max's skin cleared up! Holy moly. It actually worked.
I have since kept up this diet for the most part. Except I do eat some dark chocolate. But that's OK. Dark chocolate is good for the soul.
Just try the diet for 30 days. It sounds a lot harder than it is. Your emerging six pack will thank you, and your joints and skin will say thank you, thank you, thank you.
I feel like 2014 had to start with sharing good personal habits--this will ensure really good productivity for our burgeoning businesses. It’s all interconnected.
IMAGE: GALLERY STOCK
LAST UPDATED: FEB 7, 2014

10 Signs You Need to Stop Trying So Hard

10 Signs You Need to Stop Trying So Hard 

Always do your best to get everything right? Maybe that's your problem.

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Read this site often? You're probably an overachiever, just like me, and like thousands of other entrepreneurs and aspiring entrepreneurs out there. That's not a bad thing. Striving to do better work, accomplish more, get healthier, and be a better person is what makes you and your business successful.
But trying too hard all the time, especially if you're doing it in many areas of your life at once, can lead to a very big crash. That's what happened to Todd Patkin who joined his family auto parts business at 22, just out of college, and got used to working 80-hour weeks as the company struggled to survive. By his mid-30s, the company was a success but the long work hours had become a habit.
Other parts of his life suffered. During a motivational talk he jumped off a table, something he'd done many times before. This time, however, his feet hit a concrete floor that broke several bones and prevented him from going to the gym, a mood elevator for him. Then he and his wife lost a pregnancy. "That really affected me," he says. "I fell deeper and deeper into the hole."
In the grip of depression, he found himself unable to function. He and his father would drive to work each day, and Patkin would go in his office and close the door. "People may have thought I was working," he says. Instead, he often had his head down on the desk. The moment of truth arrived when he and his father were out to lunch and a waitress offered the choice of potato salad or coleslaw. It seemed an impossible decision. "For all intents and purposes, my brain had short-circuited," he recalls.
That experience was horribly painful, but also lucky, Patkin says now, because it forced him to reevaluate what he'd been doing. With the help of medication to help lift the blackness, he set about figuring out what truly made him happy, a journey he chronicles in his book "Finding Happiness." Cutting back on efforts and activities and looking at what was truly satisfying was the necessary first step, he says.
You may want to do the same if any of the following sounds familiar:

1. Your relationships are dragging you down.

"Give up on the relationships that aren't working for you," Patkin advises. "Maybe they worked for you before, back when you were in college. But now it's 20 years later." Ask yourself whether you enjoy being with this person, or whether the prospect of time together fills you with anxiety.
Keep in mind that the company you keep is likely to affect your whole outlook, Patkin adds. "Motivational scientists have learned that your outlook in terms of negative feelings or happiness will be the average of the five people you spend the most time with."

2. You're always the one to step up.

If an annoying task needs doing and no one else wants to, do you always find yourself raising your hand? Cut back, at least some of the time, Patkin advises. "There should be times when you say, 'I've done this five times in a row and I don't understand why you can't do it,'" he says. "You have to be honest."
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3. You keep working ridiculous hours.

It's one thing to burn the midnight oil for a week or two in order to finish a major project or close an important deal. But if overly long workdays have become your norm, you must make a change.
"Work is a marathon, not a sprint--you're going to be doing it for the rest of your life," Patkin says. "If you're always working 70 hours a week, what is that doing to your health and relationships?" He acknowledges that taking time off was easier for him in his company, with family members available to cover for each other. Without that back up, it can be difficult to delegate. But it isn't optional.
"You have to find someone and put your trust in that person to be a good No. 2, so that you can take a vacation or time off for a life event," Patkin says. If you don't, your business could fall into a rut. "Most people get imaginative and creative when they're not going a zillion miles an hour."

4. Your best is never good enough.

Perfectionism is a serious danger, Patkin warns. "I've had an employee say to me that he was a bad Dad because he missed his son's basketball game. I asked him how many he'd been to. Turned out he'd been to 10 of the 12 games that season. I told him he was doing a lot better than most of the fathers out there."
Although it's human nature, it's a very bad idea to do most things right and hyper-focus on the few you get wrong, he adds. "You have to start complimenting yourself, and feeling good for all the things you do."

5. You're always comparing yourself to others.

It could be someone else in your office who appears to have the perfect family, or a competing company that appears to have the perfect product. Either way, Patkin says, spending too much time worrying about what others are doing will hold you back. "It's important for someone running a business to say to yourself, 'If I do my own work right, I'll be better off in the long run.'"
Besides, you never know what's real and what's perception. "I went to a conference once and there was a guy with a new auto parts business and no one could believe how fast he was growing," Patkin recalls. "Two years later he had fled the country because he was being indicted. There's a lot of misinformation out there."

6. You're constantly trying to please your partner or spouse.

If you always do everything your partner wants, if you're always the one to say "I love you," and you don't feel you get enough emotional support in return, then something's out of balance and that needs to be addressed, Patkin says. He's a believer in couples counseling which he says can sometimes save a troubled relationship.
At the same time, he acknowledges, most entrepreneurs have the opposite problem. "In general, I think we need to focus more on our spouses," he says. That might mean surprising him or her with flowers when it isn't Valentine's Day, or taking a few hours off work just to be together. Paying attention to these things will help preserve your partnership for when work crunch times can't be avoided. "It's like making deposits in a bank account," he says.

7. You frequently put others' needs ahead of your own.

If that describes you, watch out, Patkin warns! "There are a lot of people in our lives who depend on us and want our help, our time, and our advice," he says. "If you care for these people, you'll want to be accommodating."
That's OK, but only up to a point--sometimes you have to put your own needs first in order to be happy. "Figure out what's important to you, and what fulfills you, and prioritize those things at least some of the time," Patkin advises.

8. You're obsessed with your kids' success.

This is a tricky one, because a certain amount of obsession just means you're a caring parent. It turns into a problem when you start living vicariously through your child's accomplishments and failures. At one time, Patkin recalls, his son was a star on his school's basketball team. "If he scored 20 points in a game, I felt like a hero. If he scored 2 points, I felt really bad."
Not only was this a drain on Patkin's emotional well-being, it wasn't so great for his son, either. "It can really mess your kids up if they feel like your love is conditional on their ability to score 20 points."
Speaking of kids, Patkin says to forget the whole concept of "quality time." That might work when they're small, but if you come home from work with just an hour of time you're planning to devote to your older children, they're likely to roll their eyes and go back to texting their friends. But he found with his son that if he simply hung around making himself available, eventually his son would start interacting with him. "It was on his own time," he says. "If you have teenagers, you have to be home more often, even if you're just working at the kitchen table."

9. You've signed up for an expensive gym membership that you never use.

If you've spent the last several years as a couch potato, don't expect yourself to suddenly start working out three times a week. In fact, the gym industry depends on this dynamic--if every paying member of every gym showed up on a regular basis, most of them would be severely overcrowded.
So, Patkin advises, cancel that gym membership. Start with a walk around the block instead, and once you're in that habit, maybe extend it to two blocks. "Just do whatever you're able to stick with," he says.

10. You have a large number of goals.

There's nothing wrong with goals, but some people overdo it, Patkin says. "They have to have 10 percent body fat, and this much money in the bank, and every Saturday they have to do this activity."
If this describes you, he says, it's time to do some pruning. "You should have maybe two business goals, one or two health goals, on or two relationship goals, and perhaps one or two goals related to spirituality, which might be as simple as taking a walk in the woods."
The main message is this: If you want to be happy, create some balance in every part of your life. After all, you're in it for the long haul.
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